The Contemporary Meme Bible

There are a LOT of memes going around with Bible verses. It hit me the other day that “the meme” has become a new dialect of contemporary culture. In the spirit of Martin Luther, who believed the people should have the Scripture available to them in their own tongue, I thought it would be fun (and hopefully funny) to make the CMB – the Contemporary Meme Bible. So I’m going to work my way through the Bible creating original memes for the major stories. Right now I’ve got Genesis-Judges complete. I’ll include links to the text for those who want to read the biblical stories. So let’s get started.

GENESIS: In the Beginning

Genesis 1 – Creation

Meme Bible - Genesis 1

Genesis 3 – Original Sin

Meme Bible - Genesis 3

Genesis 4 Cain & Abel

Meme Bible - Genesis 4

Genesis 6 – The Flood

Meme Bible - Genesis 6

Genesis 8 – The Flood

Meme Bible - Genesis 8

Genesis 11 – The Tower of Babel

Meme Bible - Genesis 11

Genesis 18 Abraham & Sarah

Meme Bible - Genesis 18

Genesis 19 – Sodom & Gomorrah

Meme Bible - Genesis 19

Genesis 21 – Sarah & Hagar

Meme Bible - Genesis 21

Genesis 22 – Abraham & Isaac

Meme Bible - Genesis 22

Genesis 25 – Jacob & Esau

Meme Bible - Genesis 25

Genesis 27 – A Father’s Blessing

Meme Bible - Genesis 27

Genesis 29 – Leah & Rachel

Meme Bible - Genesis 29

Genesis 32 – Jacob Wrestles with God

Meme Bible - Genesis 32

Genesis 37 – Joseph and his Coat of Many Colors

Meme Bible - Genesis 37

Genesis 39 – Joseph in Potiphar’s House

Meme Bible - Genesis 39

Genesis 41 – Joseph Interprets Pharaoh’s Dreams

Meme Bible - Genesis 41

Genesis 42-45 – Joseph & His Brothers

Meme Bible - Genesis 45

EXODUS: Let My People Go

Exodus 1 – Conflict in Egypt

Meme Bible - Exodus 1 (10)

Exodus 1:18 – An Evil King

Meme Bible - Exodus 1 (18)

Exodus 2:3 – Baby Moses

Meme Bible - Exodus 2 (3)

Exodus 2:10 – Baby Moses

Meme Bible - Exodus 2 (10)

Exodus 3:10 – God calls Moses

Meme Bible - Exodus 3 (10)

Exodus 3 – God talks to Moses

Meme Bible - Exodus 3

Exodus 7:13 – Pharaoh responds to Moses

Meme Bible - Exodus 7 (13)

Exodus 7-10 – The 10 Plagues

Meme Bible - Exodus 7-10

Exodus 12:12 – The 10th Plague

Meme Bible - Exodus 12 (12)

Exodus 12:33 – The Exodus

Meme Bible - Exodus 12 (33)

Exodus 14-15 – Crossing the Red Sea

Meme Bible - Exodus 14-15

Exodus 16 – Bread from Heaven

Meme Bible - Exodus 16

Exodus 18 – Jethro (Moses’ father-in-law) gives Moses advice…

Meme Bible - Exodus 18

Exodus 20 – The 10 Commandments

Meme Bible - Exodus 20

Exodus 32 – The Golden Calf

Meme Bible - Exodus 32

Exodus 32 – The Golden Calf

Meme Bible - Exodus 32 (15)

Exodus 40 – Building the Tabernacle

Meme Bible - Exodus 40

LEVITICUS: Layin’ Down the Law…

Meme Bible - Leviticus 1

Leviticus 4: Sin Offerings

Meme Bible - Leviticus 4

Leviticus 11: Clean & Unclean Animals

Meme Bible - Leviticus 11

Leviticus 18: Unlawful Sexual Relations

Meme Bible - Leviticus 18

Leviticus 25: Kindness for the Poor

Meme Bible - Leviticus 25(35-46)

NUMBERS: Seriously, How Many Times Do We Need to Take a Census?

Meme Bible - Numbers

Numbers 1: A Census

Meme Bible - Numbers 1

Numbers 11: The People of Israel Complain

Meme Bible - Numbers 11

Numbers 12: Aaron & Miriam Oppose Moses

Meme Bible - Numbers 12

Numbers 13: Spies Sent Into the Land

Meme Bible - Numbers 13

Numbers 20: Moses Strikes the Rock

Meme Bible - Numbers 20

Numbers 22: Balaam’s Donkey Speaks

Meme Bible - Numbers 22

DEUTERONOMY: Here We Go Again…

Meme Bible - Deut

Deuteronomy 4:41-43 – Cities of Refuge

Meme Bible - Deut 5 (41-43)

Deuteronomy 6 – The Greatest Commandment

Meme Bible - Deut 6

Deuteronomy 9 – God’s Grace, Not Human Behavior

Meme Bible - Deut 9 (1-12)

Deuteronomy 14 – Rules on Tithing

Meme Bible - Deut 14 (22-29)

Deuteronomy 18:9-14 – Be Holy

Meme Bible - Deut 18 (9-14)

Deuteronomy 30 – Choosing Life or Death

Meme Bible - Deut 30 (1-10)

JOSHUA: It’s About a Dude

Joshua 2 – Rahab & the Spies

Meme Bible - Joshua 2

Joshua 6 – The Fall of Jericho

Meme Bible - Joshua 6

Joshua 7 – Achan’s Sin

Meme Bible - Joshua 7

Joshua 10 – Long Days in the Army

Meme Bible - Joshua 10

JUDGES: You Never Know What You’re Gonna Get

Meme Bible - Judges

Judges 1:27-36 – Failure to Complete the Conquest

Meme Bible - Judges 1 (27-36)

Judges 3 – Ehud, the Left-Handed

Meme Bible - Judges 3

Judges 4 – Deborah Takes Charge

Meme Bible - Judges 4

Judges 11 – Jephthah’s Daughter

Meme Bible - Judges 11

Judges 16 – Samson & Delilah

Meme Bible - Judges 16

There you have it. Let me know which ones are your favorites. Feel free to share this post and the Meme Bible with others. I’ll put up Deuteronomy when it’s done.

Please No More Corny Jokes!

cheesy cheese and corny corn

For the last week I’ve been posting a lot of corny jokes on social media. I mean – A LOT.

I’m sure it’s caused some to unfollow or mute me. That’s fine – it’s your right to do so. Heaven knows I mute and unfollow enough of you. 😉

I’ve even hear a lot of people gripe and complain about the groaners. Yup – some of them are pretty bad…. No, wait – they’re all terrific, you just need to work on your sense of humor!

But I decided last week to be intentional about putting out a healthy dose (yes, I suppose the amount is debatable) of corny jokes. Last week I reached a near breaking point seeing “Christian” people go bananas, posting things filled with anger and venom. It was enough to make me ask, “Why am I even here?” I thought, “There’s gotta be something better we can do with social media than squabble and tear people down.” The Bible says:

If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. (James 3:3-6)

The Apostle Paul also writes:

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. (Philippians 4:8)

No, corny jokes aren’t really honorable or just, but I think we can find a bigger principle at play in these passages. The stuff that comes out of our mouths (or social media posts, in this case) should be better than the crud we often see. I’d rather be known for corny jokes than for spewing angry and venomous rants about others. I want to dwell on praiseworthy and excellent things (and some of those jokes have been really excellent!).

So, for the time being, the corny jokes will continue. I’m sure I’ll reach a point where I just cannot do one more corny joke, but I want my contribution to social media to be one of laughter and delight, not anger and darkness.

The Best Worst Marriage Advice…EVER!

Marriage

I’ve got a Twitter friend who is getting married in a few months. In honor of his impending nuptials I asked a bunch of friends to throw out some of the “Best Worst” marriage advice we could come up with. You know, the stuff that really SHOULDN’T be done if you care about having a healthy relationship.

Here are some of the gems we came up with. Enjoy!

In all seriousness, marriage can be wonderful. It does, however, require effort on the part of both people. One of the best books I’ve read on marriage is called The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by Dr. John Gottman.

Do whatever you can to work on your relationship. Read the book. Take a seminar. Talk to a pastor/counselor. Do the OPPOSITE of everything we suggested above!

Marriage can be wonderful – if you put in the time and effort to make it so.

How about you? What advice would you give to a couple about to get married?

Related Post:
8 Things Every Husband Needs to Do

How to Ruin a Children’s Book

Image courtesy of stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Image courtesy of stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

By now you all know that I enjoy the occasional hashtag game on social media. Recently someone brought this one to my attention: #RuinAChildrensBook. The premise is to take a beloved book and, by altering one or two words in the title, significantly change the meaning of the book. As a book lover who is married to a book lover and raising three little book lovers, this was right up my alley.

Here are some of them:

It’s amazing how changing one or two words can radically alter meaning. Words are incredibly potent. It should be a reminder to all of us to be careful about the words we use when we’re talking to others and about others.

With our words we can build people up.

With our words we can tear people down.

Like bullets from a gun, when words leave our mouths there is no taking them back. Even the most sincere apology cannot undo the hurt we might cause with some poorly chosen words.

So think before you speak. Ask yourself if the words you are choosing will bring life or death.

You have more power than you realize.

“Best” Parenting Tips

Image courtesy of imagerymajestic / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Image courtesy of imagerymajestic / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

So a friend and his wife just welcomed their first child to the world. What an exciting time! I vividly remember our firstborn arriving. I nearly passed out. At one point of the delivery I had more nurses attending to me than were attending to the lady in labor!

In honor of my friend’s new parenthood I enlisted the help of some friends to come up with a list of “best” parenting tips we could think of. I mean, real life stuff that no parenting book or manual could ever teach you unless you go through the experience yourself – the kind of stuff everyone SHOULD know but never talks about.

Here are some of the gems we came up with:

–          In the event of a monster diaper blowout, the garden hose is an acceptable alternative to the bath for cleaning baby

–          When baby is teething the best thing for him to chew on is a frozen Snickers bar (ignore the studies on infant diabetes)

–          You can save money on washcloths and paper towels by letting the dog clean baby’s face.

–          Use of Velcro on baby and wall is acceptable method of watching baby

–          The television is a TERRIFIC babysitter when you and the Mrs. need some alone time.

–          Use Bynadryl & Nyquil to teach the child how to take communion. You might even want to take some, yourself.

–          Chicken wire is a great way to rope off a play area.

–          Place vegetables on the floor when the child learns to crawl. They are more likely to be eaten there

–          When the baby won’t stop crying, if you will cry even louder it will teach them how annoying it is.

–          If the kid wants ice cream for breakfast, give him ice cream. Life is short; don’t deny him anything.

–          Buy the healthiest cat or dog food you can because when baby finds that bowl…

–          You can save money on formula and juice by letting baby drink straight from the bathtub.

–          Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4 year old.

Please recognize that these are jokes – don’t get all huffy about mistreating infants.

In all seriousness, caring for kids is a great responsibility. It doesn’t matter if you’re parent, uncle, aunt, or family friend – whenever we have an opportunity to contribute to the well-being of a child it is an honor and a weight.

The Bible talks about training children from the time they are young. When we do our jobs as caretakers we give kids the best chance possible for a happy, healthy, and productive life.

Never take your role for granted.

Step up to the plate and do right by that kid.

How about you? What “best” tips would you add to the list? 🙂