The Big 10: Swear to God

Welcome back to our journey through the 10 Commandments! We’ve already looked at the first two commandments. Now God continues with the 3rd commandment.

“You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.

How many of you have ever been taught that the commandment means “Don’t have a potty mouth” swearingand don’t swear and curse. But it’s not about profanity. It’s about making oaths and promises.

At some point, most of us have been lied to by someone. Sometimes the liar declares with total conviction that he’s telling the truth. Have you been in a situation like that? You don’t believe the story and they tell you, “SWEAR TO GOD!” In the military, Sailor’s stories often start with, “I s*** you not.” Military member’s stories are less believable than any other stories – maybe only 20%!

Just because someone says, “Swear to God!” doesn’t mean that their words are going to be true. They can say that and still tell you lies. I asked some people about jobs that have reputations for being filled with liars: lawyers, contractors, politicians… It’s impossible to go through an election season without hearing both sides declaring the other guy is a liar! “He’s a lying lying-pants.”

I genuinely believe that most politicians are not trying to deceive the public. I think that they hear and believe spin and then repeat bad info without ever hearing the truth. Then they sully their name with “lies.”

Dale Carnegie talks about the power of the name. Our names are the most important word in our language. If you have an unusual name or a name that’s spelled or pronounced oddly, how do you respond when people say it incorrectly? Or when people are writing your name and misspell it? Like having the last name Linzey with no “d” and no “s.” Or when telemarketers call for my wife…

When I was in Chaplain School we had a Nigerian national whose name was 6 syllables long . Chaplains and Chaplain Assistants would approach him, look at his name, and resort to simply calling him “Chaplain O.” They would never learn how to say his name. In his culture it was an insult.Name He took it as an insult every time someone refused to learn his name, so I took it upon myself to learn his name and the proper pronunciation. When I said it his eyes got wide and his jaw dropped open.

The name of God is more important. God is saying, “Don’t take my name lightly. Don’t think you can throw my name around in your lying and in your declarations. My name is not cheap. My name is not dirt – don’t treat it as such. My name is holy. My name is sacred.”

He’s saying, “Don’t use my name to add weight to your words.” That’s what oaths are all about. It saying that our words alone are not trustworthy, so we give them added weight. “I swear….” If that’s not enough we’ll swear on the Holy Bible. As though throwing God into the mix will increase the truthfulness. Have you ever heard, “Swear on a stack of Bibles!” As though each Bible increases the truthfulness of your statements. If we have to swear on a stack of Bibles to convince people, what does that say about all of the other words that come out of our mouths?

It tells me that we’re untrustworthy people. It tells me that people think we’re full of it – that people think we’re habitual liars unless we swear on a stack of Bibles. Don’t use God’s name. It really comes down to our character and our honor. Deuteronomy 25:13-16 says:

Do not have two differing weights in your bag—one heavy, one light. Do not have two differing measures in your house—one large, one small. You must have accurate and honest weights and measures, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you. For the Lord your God detests anyone who does these things, anyone who deals dishonestly.

The scales were used to buy things. Some shop owners would put bogus weights on the scales to make the cost seem greater than it should be. But God is calling us to live a life that is so sparkly that resonates with honesty in every fiber that nobody EVER requires us to swear any kind of oath.

Even kids learn early on: “Do you pinky-swear?” Why the pinky? pinky-swearWhy not the thumb? Who knows. What about “Scout’s honor”? Is if my credibility as a Scout gives my words MORE weight than normal. Why do we swear? To give our words weight. Even the Apostle Peter, when being accused of being a follower of Jesus, swore that he wasn’t part of Jesus’s crowd (Matthew 26:72; Mark 14:71).

We are people who will swear false oaths to protect ourselves from trouble. Sometimes we do it to manipulate others (used car salesmen, anyone?). We make all sorts of oaths, but it all comes down to adding credibility to our words because we feel that what we’re saying isn’t trustworthy enough. It’s a problem when we feel we have to call God in to lend weight to what we’re saying.

Integrity matters. Character matters. Why? 1) God is a person of integrity and character, so we need to be. 2) Relationships thrive on honesty and integrity but shrivel up and die without it. In marriage, it means that your spouse believes your behavior when you’re by yourself is the exact same as it would be if he/she were right beside you. That’s integrity. Honesty and integrity breeds trust.

People will never have to wonder or question our words when we live lives of integrity and honesty. How do we live swear-free lives (not profanity, but integrity)? It comes down to a yes/no lifestyle. Jesus says in Matthew 5:33-37:

Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not break your oath, but fulfill to the Lord the vows you have made.’ But I tell you, do not swear an oath at all: either by heaven, for it is God’s throne; or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.

Jesus says don’t try to back up your words with something stronger. You’re saying that you’re not normally trustworthy, so you’re bringing in your big guns. Jesus says it’s not supposed to be that way. We’re supposed to live lives of honesty and integrity that does not throw around God’s name lightly. No oaths necessary. You should know that my character backs up my words.

I want to be known as a person of honesty and integrity. This world trains us to gloss over the truth. We are okay with “partial truths” and “white lies.” We train ourselves to be dishonest. We must start living a yes/no lifestyle. Forget about oath-making, just live honestly. “Do what you say you’re going to do, when you say you’re going to it, to an agreed upon standard.”

Practice being honest in the little things. Practice being honest in the big things. No promises and oaths needed – we just live as people of our words in everything we say and do. When we become people of integrity, people will notice. They will take our words seriously. Don’t misuse the name of the Lord. Instead, live a life of honesty, regardless of the consequences. Let us be trustworthy people.

Questions for Reflection

  • Am I a person of integrity?
  • Can people trust my words or do I need to add weight to convince people?

How Christians Cuss, Dad-Gummit!

Image courtesy of Idea go / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Image courtesy of Idea go / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

If you have a sensitivity to coarse language you may want to skip this post…

So the other day I played a little game with some friends. I asked a group of people to help me come up with as many Christian swear alternatives as we could (those are words Christians use when we feel a need to swear but don’t feel comfortable using any of the words the world uses).

Keep in mind that Christians have different standards of what is or is not acceptable. But here is the list we came up with.

 

 

  1. **#%%#*#&#*
  2. Fahrvergnügen
  3. mother frito
  4. Shazbot!
  5. CHEEZ IT!
  6.  Jeepers!
  7. Jinkies!
  8. Zoinks!
  9. cheese and crackers.
  10. “crumb” instead of “crap”, for the very conservative 🙂
  11. oh my word, oh my stars
  12. Gadzooks!
  13. crappydoodle
  14. Holy Canoli!
  15. Horse feathers!!
  16. Crapola
  17. oh my Gosh!
  18. Cat Hair
  19. Shut the front door!
  20. Well I’ll be dipped in buttermilk
  21. Ticked Off!
  22. Razz ma-tazz!
  23. Freak
  24. Frickin’
  25. Frickin’ A.
  26. Jumpin’ Jehosaphat!
  27. Good gravy
  28. D’OH!
  29. fudge ripple
  30. GOOD GOSH!
  31. FUZZY MUFFINS!
  32. son of a biscuit
  33. He’s full of shiitake mushrooms!
  34. Goshdarnit
  35. What the frick?
  36. sugar
  37. shoot.
  38. Crap
  39. fudge
  40. snap
  41. darn it
  42. good grief
  43. Goshdarnit
  44. Holy Schnike
  45. oy vey
  46. garbanzo
  47. crud
  48. durn
  49. darn
  50. poodledoo
  51. shut the front door
  52. fiddlesticks
  53. fiddledeedee
  54. Bob Saggett
  55. What in the blue bless?!
  56. Oh. My. Cow
  57. Jeez Louise
  58. Jesus, Mary & Joseph.
  59. Poodle-fruiter!
  60. dad-gummit!
  61. SUGAR MONKEY FUNKY BUTTS!
  62. gee whiz…
  63. ska-douche!
  64. Sugary pops
  65. Peas and Rice!
  66. Dag nab it!
  67. Fudge Buckets!
  68. That sucks!

Goodness! That’s a long list. Every once in a while I’ll get someone who asks me a question about what the Bible says about swearing/cursing/profanity. The truth is that the Bible doesn’t say a whole lot about it.

There are two verses in the Bible that most Christians use to justify a no-profanity position.

Exodus 20:7 – You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain…

Ephesians 4:29 – let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouths.

While these are great verses, neither one is talking about profanity. In Exodus God is commanding the Israelites not to use his name lightly. There is a little bit of ambiguity here, because the Bible never says exactly what it means to take God’s name lightly. It could mean not to use the name casually. It could mean not to use the name to back up your promises (swear to God…). There is no general prohibition here on profanity.

The Ephesians verse seems compelling at a cursory look, but Paul isn’t talking about profanity. In Ephesians he’s talking about not lying, speaking truth, not sinning in our anger, and building people up. In the context of the passage it would seem that “unwholesome talk” is not profanity but is language that seeks to hurt or damage others. The Greek word can literally be translated as “trash.” It’s like Paul is saying, “Don’t engage in trash talk against each other. Use your words to build each other up.”

On top of the lack of biblical direction against foul language we run into the problem of the fluidity of language. That is to say, language changes. What words mean now could be very different from what they meant 300 years ago. So which culture and era do we use as the standard for acceptable and non-acceptable words?

I grew up in a conservative home, where there were very few acceptable alternatives for swearing. I have a very clear memory of the first time I EVER used the expression, “Man, that’s screwed up!” I felt like such a rebel. In our home “sucks” was not an acceptable word. horrified-faceBut I remember the first time my mother was so upset about something she declared, “Well that…that just SUCKS!” She doesn’t use it regularly, but she needed to express the depth of her emotion and used that phrase to do it.

In the end it is another case of Christian liberty. If God’s Spirit is convicting you and telling you not to use certain words – DON’T! If you have freedom in Christ to use certain words – FEEL FREE! We just need to make sure that we’re not imposing our freedom (or lack of freedom) on others.

In the end, it is always better to err on the side of caution. Even if I’m free to use words it doesn’t mean that I should flaunt my freedom in front of others. Out of respect for people I can choose to change my language to fit the circumstance.

That’s the Christian thing to do.

And it doesn’t suck.

Whatcha Wanna Talk About?

Ask

I get a lot of questions from people. Some are deep, some are fun. Here are some of my favorites and my brief responses to them. If you’d like to talk about any of them more in depth I’d be happy to converse. So away we go!

– Is a believer’s baptism valid if the minister that performed it later renounces the faith?

Interesting question! Yes, it is still valid. Salvation comes by God’s grace through faith, not by immersion. Baptism is an outward sign of what God’s doing in the heart. The pastor doing the baptism doesn’t save or confer salvation.

– What are your thoughts on the future of organ music in churches?

Depends on the type of organ. A Hammond B3 rotary sound is popular again. I do think that the era of the pipe organ is waning. That’s okay, though, because musicianship is fluid and not static. Who plays the lyre in worship anymore? 🙂

– What do you think of the doctrine of the inerrancy of the bible? Do you see any errors or real contradictions?

I believe that the Bible is inspired. I think that inerrancy is a human way to try to protect the Bible because we don’t have a big enough view of God to believe simultaneously in inspiration & humanity within the text. That being said, I don’t think the Bible contains “contradictions” the way that angry atheists do when they try to poke holes in Scripture.

Since ancient thinking, writing, and narrative were different than contemporary thought, word, and narrative, it doesn’t make sense to force our understanding on the Bible. Since the advent of the printing press our culture has been obsessed with “historical truth” and “fact.” Oral societies don’t function in these concepts the same way we do.

Two storytellers from oral societies could each tell their version of a story and be “truthful” even though their stories might have slight variances. This is merely a part of storytelling, not error. For example, when Jesus exorcises demons and sends them into a herd of pigs how many demoniacs were there? Mark says 1. Matthew says 2. Who is right? It doesn’t really matter. The point is not the number of demon possessed men but the power encounter between Jesus and the demons.

The Bible contains these kinds of differences, but we should not view them as error or contradiction – merely the result of multiple people telling the story. It does not minimize or reduce the power and potency of Scripture to say that God used flawed humanity to communicate Divine truth.

– Are you opposed to the legalization of gay marriage?

I am opposed to the legalization of same-sex MARRIAGE. I believe that marriage is a spiritual event, not a state-sanctioned event. That being said, I do not believe that Christians should forbid people from living the way they want, so I would not oppose the legalization of same-sex unions (and the rights that go with) from a political point of view – but I think the state should stay out of the “marriage” business (and out of all of the church’s business, actually) and leave that to the church.

– If you could have anything you want for dinner tonight, what would you have?

Easy! Hotdogs and Mac & Cheese. It’s my fave. I’m a man of simple tastes. 🙂

– What is the Ultimate Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything?

Respect God, keep his commandments, and never take life so seriously you can’t laugh at yourself 🙂

– Is it wrong to get piercings? My parents are freaking out about one little thing…

It is not wrong to get piercings. The Bible does talk about obeying and honoring parents. If you’re having trouble convincing them but REALLY want one, I would recommend waiting until you’re out on your own. Honor them before seeking to exercise your Xian freedom. 🙂

– What was the worst thing you ever ate?

Wasabi. Didn’t know what it was…

– Is there a passage in the bible that addresses swearing?

No, the Bible never addresses profanity. There are some passages about wholesome talk, but in context they’re not about saying four letter words. Now it IS a good practice to use real words to communicate rather than expletives (you’ll offend fewer people) but God won’t condemn you for profanity.

– Who is your favorite person in the Bible?

I know you mean besides Jesus – no Christian can have a favorite person above Jesus. After Jesus, one of my favorites is David.

He’s a tragic character who made a lot of personal and professional flubs, yet he is still remembered as “a man after God’s heart”.

David gives hope to schmucks like me. Though I mess up God can still use me for His purposes.