fighting couple

Today we continue in the series on preventing extramarital affairs. Remember, this is not about picking on men. Infidelity is a problem that both men and women need to get a hold of. God wants us to thrive in healthy and happy marriages, and we do great damage to that His design when we let infidelity creep into the relationship. Over the next few months I’ll be sharing some practical tips on how we can actively work to prevent affairs in our marriages. This topic can get a little blunt – obviously it’s not for kids… 🙂

So, tip #2 for preventing infidelity – Keep all sexual fantasies that you intentionally create focused on your partner.

Dr. Douglas Rosenau says:

Your sexual thought life needs to be carefully disciplined. Sinful lust and acting out sexually are encouraged by obsessively making people sexual objects or continually fantasizing about a person…outside your marriage.

Within the boundaries of marriage, just about anything goes between willing partners. I’ve talked to people who believe that it’s morally wrong for a married couple to do anything other than basic baby-making. But there’s nothing in the Bible that condemns a man and woman in a married relationship from exploration and variation. As long as both partners are willing and the sexuality stays within the marriage.

The moment things move beyond the married couple it becomes wrong.

Jesus talked about the matters of the heart and fantasy/lust:

You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (Matthew 5:27-28)

While adultery is often seen as a sin of ACTION, Jesus changes things and now makes it a sin of the mind and heart. Dang – He ain’t playin’!

If we want to maintain healthy marriages that are free from infidelity we need to be intentional about not letting our minds wander and think about people who are not our spouses. This includes pornography (men, listen up) and some romance novels (ladies, do you hear me?). It can include television shows, movies, magazines, and music. It can include the people you encounter in the store or people you see while driving down the street.

Keep your mind to your partner and you’re a big step to preventing infidelity in your marriage.

For additional reading, see A Celebration of Sex: A Guide to Enjoying God’s Gift of Sexual Intimacy by Dr. Douglas Rosenau – don’t worry, it’s a Christian book 😉

Related Post:
Preventing Extramarital Affairs – Part 1